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grace led me into a room. the nurse was still there, smiling at me. "now, dear, im sure youre wondering what all this is about. but you dont need to be afraid. youre going to be all right. i just want to make sure that you stay where it is that you belong, with your family." the nurse lifted up my shirt and said, "go ahead, dear, take a look." i looked down at my chest and saw the brown butterfly tattoo on my chest. i looked up at the nurse. "oh, that! im pretty sure that you know, what that means," she said, smiling. "well, i dont, exactly," i said. "but i think it means that im a big girl now." she smiled. "that is exactly right, dear."
Traci Lords: Underneath It All free download
over time, mom began to try to have a social life, but she always seemed to be rejected by the same people. she was good at heart, but she never learned to hide her feelings or be more outgoing. we were dirty and crusted when we came home from school, and dad didnt clean up after us. i didnt know that he was really too busy working to take care of us properly. i thought he was just angry at us for getting dirty, and i didnt realize until later that i was the reason for his unhappiness. i didnt understand why i couldnt be like the other kids. it wasnt until i grew up and got married to a wonderful man that i realized i was really wrong about dad. he wasnt angry at us for getting dirty. he was angry at himself for doing the bare minimum that was expected of him. he wasnt angry at us. he was angry at himself. he wasnt miserable because he didnt have money. he was miserable because he didnt have himself.
i remember the first time i kissed a girl. my sister had a best friend who was a popular girl at school. i remember it was my first day of first grade. i came home one day, and my mother told me that me and my sister were going to the local carnival to be her bridesmaids. i was excited because i always went to the carnival. i had always wanted to ride a pony and meet a cowboy. i was a girlie girl and loved dolls and baby clothes. the next thing i knew, we were there. i remember looking around and seeing all the bright lights and colors, and feeling so happy to be there. i was really excited. i saw my sister, and i waved at her. she waved back and giggled. then i saw a little girl sitting by herself. she was wearing a blue dress and had braids that were dyed with pink and yellow colors. i asked my mother what she was doing there, and she said that the girl was invited. i remember feeling like i was different from her. she was a girl. i was a girl. she had pink and yellow braids and was wearing a blue dress. i couldnt understand why i had to be a girl and why she didnt. the more i thought about it, the more confusing it was.